Intentional

Is it too much to ask for intentional love?

Love that chooses you until death do us part?

Is It too much to dream of a love that considers you in all ways, at all times?

Unselfish and pure. Not back biting. Holding no grudges...

Is It too much?

I have never been one to ask for many things, I often let my desires sit on my tongue like pop rocks on a hot summer’s day in front of auntie’s house.

The sound of my hopes sizzling away in my ears.

Often times, I allowed dreams to be just that. Dreams.

May have written them out on the pages of my notebook but never had faith enough to pray over them because then I run the risk of being disappointed.

Disappointment had become a very familiar friend to me. We had grown quite acquainted as my years rolled on, I often found her sitting at the end of my bed every time I came home with broken promises. She would simply take them from my tired hands, tuck them in the lining of her coat and embrace me with heavy arms.

I think that’s when I began to ask… Is it too much?

Am I too much to love? Is that why you never took the time to be intentional with me?

Do my eyes carry a burden you’re too ashamed to acknowledge? Does my smile hide secrets you are not ready to face? Am I not worth loving?

Does my strong wit and stubborn will remind you of her, that’s why you find it hard to choose me?

Does my unforgiving refusal to bow to your ego frustrate you because the more I learn of you the more I understand that that is a color we share.

Is it too much to ask you to see me?

Is it too much to ask you to study me like you study the curves of a 100-dollar bill not just fill in the colors of a page you assumed me to be? Not presume that familiar things are the same.

Is It too much to ask for love that doesn’t come with burden?

Struggle, insecurity, excuses

That doesn’t come with the responsibility of carrying your accountability and mine

That doesn’t harbor condemnation and regret.

Is it too much to ask for a love that comes freely?

Have you heard of a love that comes freely?

Does the concept of unconditional love latch on to the crevices of your brain?

Does it make sense?

Does it make sense to love without limits or are limits the only way you comprehend the concept of love?

Does the idea of loving with no expectation make you uncomfortable?

Uncomfortable because you have gotten so use to auctioning off your love to the highest bidder that you forgot love cannot be confined to the walls of your comfortability.

Love is not a potted plant that grows only in the confines of the place in which you placed it, love is not like water that can be stopped by the hard places of your traumas, love is not even like you or me, stifled by who or what we deem deserving.

Love is like God, for anyone and anybody. God is love. Love is purifying, never ending, limitless, bountiful, fruitful. Love is the thing that caused God to give a piece of himself so that we would never stop knowing love.

Is it too much?

Is it too much to be loved by you like Christ loved the church?

To be loved like God created you to love me

To be loved liked your life’s mission is to love me

Is it to much to be intentional?